Growing up is hard to do
February 15, 2010
Dear Life,
I don’t know what I’m going to do with you. You seem to make things very difficult for me. I think you and Future got together and decided to punish me for something. I’m not really sure what I did wrong, but can you please stop.
Love,
a frustrated friend.
I have so many options and so many things to think about… I have no idea what I’m going to do. My future scares me. I feel so unprepared. I need to decide soon what I’m doing for next year and at this point crawling into a hole and rocking back and forth in the fetal position sounds like the most appealing option. I just wish something would click and I would figure out what I am supposed to do and where I am supposed to be. Like I said, I have so many options but none of them really seem like the one. None of them seem perfect, but hey I guess thats life. I need to make sacrifices. I just feel like I’m going to disappoint someone with each decision I make. I don’t like disappointing people. But I’m starting to realize that it’s my life that I’m making decisions about. I’m the one who has to live with the consequences. I’m not really sure if that makes easier or harder though. I’m just frustrated beyond belief. Every time I think about what I’m going to do next year I want to cry. It makes me sick. I want to be happy. I want to do what I love. I’m realizing that may not be as easy as it sounds. I’m 19 and the choices I made today could influence my life at 30 or 40 or 50. Who the hell decided that would be a good idea? I’m just tired of worrying. I feel so uneasy and unsettled. It’s hard to go from four years where your entire life was scheduled out and defined to just… well nothing. Hopefully I’ll be making some decisions soon. Who knows what they will be. I just hope I don’t disappoint too many people in the process….
Let me teach you how to handle all the sadness in your soul.
