How can we make her even more stressed?

So here is a little ranting because I feel like it’s needed right now…

Yesterday I had guard, like I do every Tuesday.  It was a pretty good rehearsal.  We cleaned some parts, learned some new sabre work, and I even got two more solos!  Well the one is just a toss on flag and then they other is like 16ish counts on flag.  I pretty much end the show now.  So rehearsal was going very well until the end.  

Let’s give some background info.  It seems like I always have to give up things for color guard, more so than any other person.  Maybe it’s because I do more than everyone else, but like it’s frustrating.  Here’s a little list: Being in the WPG March performance freshman and sophomore year, Saturday rehearsals for the play and musical (my first one was during Tempest I believe), dances, birthdays, hang outs with my friends, the music trip last year to name a few.  Now this year I am extremely grateful that Jeff had us switch circuits to allow the seniors to go on our Senior Trip, thanks Jeff.  But already this year we had to miss the Movie Night that my class held because of a last minute Friday rehearsal for indoor guard.  I wasn’t happy, but I’ll live.  Then Jeff decided he wants us to paint the floor next Friday … the day of the Talent show.  Awesome.  But he said that we could leave when it started in his, “I really don’t want you to go, but I guess I have to let you” voice.  Alright cool.  BUT yesterday the big news…

So we finished rehearsal and Jeff suggested that we try to get into the school on the 13th, which we have off, to paint the floor.  That way none of us will have to miss the Talent Show and we will have a longer time to paint.  Ok, thats fine, if the school is open and all.  Then Sara brings up the problem.  Senior Banquet.  February 12 … a THURSDAY! WTF.  When she said that I was seriously shocked.  Are you fucking kidding me?  I never even thought to check the date of the banquet because I figured it was a Friday.  Now here we are 2 1/2 weeks before it and we look like douches because we just brought it up.  Like seriously?!  A Thursday!  

Now at the beginning of rehearsal they gave us this whole dedication speech.  ”You have to practice outside of rehearsal” “Personal responsibility”  ”We can be really good this year if you work outside of here” blah blah blah.  So after this whole Senior Banquet debacle comes up and the three seniors state that they can’t miss this, Dominick of course pulls the commitment card again.  And we end up getting into a fight.  He says “There are other people in this activity and you have to decide how committed you are.” or something like that.  REALLY?  How can you ever say that I’m not committed, like really how can you.  Let’s take yesterday for instance.  I went to school, straight from school I had WPG from 2:30 -3:15, then Sweeney from 3:15 – 5:40ish.  Then I had twenty minutes to get my equipment, change my clothes, eat, get the floor, and get down to the gym.  Then I had a 3 hour guard practice, with hours of homework waiting for me at home.  My commitment is pretty debatable.  jesus christ.  You can say anything to me.  Tell me I’m not good at guard.  Tell my I suck at dancing or I can’t throw a six correctly, but when you tell me I’m not dedicated I get pissed.  And I was already pissed at Dominick because he was being a dick when I was doing my solo.  ”You have to make me cry, you aren’t performing enough”  I had learned like 10 minutes before.  I asked him if I could have until next practice to have it perfect.  He said NO, make me cry now (because the end of the show is sad)  I wanted to punch him. 

When we putting the floor on the cart, Sara asked the rest of the guard “How many of you would show up to practice on the day of your Senior Banquet?”  They all said they wouldn’t.  Our dance instructor Andrea told me not to worry we would be able to go and I told her “I just don’t like being told I’m not committed to something”  Like I’m sorry I won’t cut my  left arm off for this activity, I’ve grown a little attached to it over the years.  I understand thats very selfish of me.  And I can’t even quit!  Thats the worst part.  I fucking love this activity too much.  Huh. 

Thanks for listening.